You’re going to your child’s soccer game, and can’t wait to see them try out the new move they’ve been practicing all week! But gulp. Your ex will be there, too. Here are a few tips with how to be cordial with your ex at your child’s next athletic event,

Say hello

Say hello to your ex if you see them at the sporting event. This doesn’t mean you have to run over and tackle them with a giant hug—unless that’s the type of relationship you both have. But a simple hello, even just a wave in their direction, can go a long way in knocking down any defenses your ex might have up. Remember, they’re probably nervous about seeing you out, too.

Nothing heavy here

A child’s sporting event is NOT a time to discuss any heavy topics. For one, it’s a pubic place, with lots of other people and distractions around. And two, this is a happy time, not one with any room for heavy talk. If you need to talk with your ex in-depth about a particular matter—child support, visitation times—make it point to do so at another time, out of the public’s eye and where you will both have each other’s undivided attention.

When its over

So there’s no confusion at the end of the game, make sure you, your ex, your child and your child’s coach all know with whom your child will be leaving the game. This is especially important for younger children, as many times coaches need to make sure all young children have gotten into the proper arms before leaving a game. Also, be sure all parties know ahead of time who is responsible for bringing the child to the game as well.

A word about plus-ones

If you have a new significant other who will be attending your child’s game, first be sure your child is comfortable with this. If your ex is attending the game with his significant other, make it a point to acknowledge and at least say hello to this person. Remember, children’s eyes are always watching, and any chance you or your ex can demonstrate kindness and respect in front you should take this opportunity.